A Letter to Myself 10 Years Ago: Volume I

Dear 15-Year-Old Self,

You’re 15, flirty and thriving. High school is a blast, isn’t it? Cute boys are everywhere, and since you developed your feminine assets at such a young age, you can be quite the center of attention, even though you’re only a freshman.

Enjoy this time and embrace your womanhood! You tried out for the school play a month ago and you landed the role of Jan in Grease, which has made you feel like you’re on top of the world. In fact, finding out that you landed a big role in one of your favorite stories of all time was probably the best feeling you’d ever felt. However, while I’ve got your attention, there are some things, good and bad, that I want to tell you.

You’re going to find your first love in a year, but you won’t know that you loved him.

Let’s call him Boy 1. He’s going to tell you that he really likes you after your current beau leaves you right after your 16^th birthday (but don’t worry about him; he turns out to be one of the gayest people you’ll ever know). Boy 1 will help you get through that breakup and he’ll make you really learn to like yourself. He’ll make you feel intelligent, interesting and beautiful. To be honest, he’ll make you feel like the most beautiful girl alive, but you’ll continue to brush him off and play games with him. Just when he decides to move on, you throw one of your infamous shit-fits, and he leaves her for you, and you have him, only to leave him a couple weeks later. What the hell are you thinking? This guy is like, head-over-heels for you, and you’re going to leave him. When you’re 21, he’ll come back into your life, stronger than the world’s coldest avalanche, and sparks will fly, and it will be amazing. I still am not sure why it all fell apart, but let’s not worry about that now. Just learn from Boy 1, my dear 15-year-old self. Don’t take love for granted, as you took him.

When you’re 17, you’ll meet a man who will change your life forever.

Boy 2 is a fucking jerk, but you’re going to waste four years of your life with him. Well, let’s not call those years wasted, but you could definitely make more of them. You'll learn about from him, though, like to never, ever let someone make you feel less important than you are. At first, all seems amazing; you’re going to go to prom with him and you’re going to experience a lot of firsts with him. During this time, you’re going to be accepted into college and you’re going to get a really big scholarship! You’re going to land lead roles in two plays; you’re going to be Mrs. Potts in “Beauty and the Beast” and Maria in “The Sound of Music.” You’ll be featured in the local paper for your academic achievements and you’re going to become the editor-in-chief of Font! This is going to be one of the best times of your life. But, then, once you get to college, reality is going to smack you right between your eyes. Boy 2 is going to cheat on you and he’s going to abuse you, and you’re going to keep giving him chances. You’re going to fall weak and you’re going to cry a lot. After four years, he’s going to leave you for someone else and you’re going to feel like your life is over.

But, dear 15-year-old Holly, I am going to tell you something. Your life will only just begin.

The next boy, Boy 3, is going to sweep you up right off your damn feet. You’re going to graduate from college. You’re going to land a job. Boy 1 will remain a friend, a friend you’ll never forget and always love, and boy 2 will vanish. The lessons you learned from Boy 2 will stay with you forever. Your eyes are going to open to a whole new world, of love, of pain, of fear, of happiness. The sun will shine a little brighter and colors will be more vivid. Fear will make you stronger than ever, even when you feel closed in a dark corner. A little girl will become your stepdaughter, and she will open up so many doors for you. Your insecurities will haunt you at times, but you’ll keep trying to overcome them. You’ll find out that you’re passionate about so many things in this world, and you’ll want to help it. You'll learn the importance of loving yourself and everyone around you. You’ll start this blog in hopes to motivate others to do the same.

There’s so much more I want to tell you, Holly, but I’m going to leave it at this, for now. Your life has a lot of surprises, both good and bad, in store. I know, at a quarter of a century old, that life is full of continuous surprises, and to be totally honest, I can’t wait to see what our future has in store for us.

I know it doesn’t seem like it sometimes, but I love you, Holly. Keep striving for greatness.